In the fall of 2005 I decided to drive to the little store at the end of my street to get something to quench my thirst. It is a short drive, about half a mile. That half mile started me on the longest journey of my life. It was a journey that would forever change my life.
My name is Glenn and I am an alcoholic. My story is much like every alcoholic and addict that I know. Yes the details are different but ultimately we all went to hell and came back to tell about it. So, I won’t get too much into the details of my story.
The last year or so of my drinking days were very dark and lonely. Looking back almost 15 months into sobriety, I realize that the darkness and loneliness were exactly what I needed to catapult me into a sober world. A world that just 15 months ago I could not have even dreamed for myself. My days were spent thinking about, planning for, obsessing over and consuming alcohol. I had to have alcohol in my system 24 hours a day to avoid being physically sick. I literally could not stand and get out of bed most mornings without a drink. That first drink was often thrown up because my stomach was always on fire and I rarely ate. After choking down a few swallows of cheap vodka, I could usually manage to get out of bed and stumble outside for a cigarette. The long journey outside and the difficult task of lighting my smoke usually warranted another drink and a quick nap on the couch. After waking I would basically repeat the process.
On the day of the drive to the end of my street I needed to replenish my supply of alcohol. My transportation at the time was a scooter. Months earlier I had had my new car repossessed because I was just too drunk to bother paying the bill. On this particular afternoon I did not wear my helmet as I almost always had before. I jumped on and headed for the store. The next thing I remember is waking up in the emergency room where there were many people in the room with me. I was told that I had been in a wreck and would need surgery. After asking if my partner had been notified and if I had hurt anyone else I passed out again. After surgery I woke to learn that I had broken my jaw in three places and the doctor had to wire my jaw shut. The day I arrived home from the hospital I was drinking again. Circumstances do not keep us sober! The wreck did not cause me to quit drinking but it did get me to begin considering that I might have a problem.
In March of 2006, I checked into Austin Recovery. The detox process was hell on Earth for me. On my fifth day I had a seizure and was back in the hospital. After a total of twelve days in detox I went to the Austin Recovery Men’s Intensive Residential facility known as The Ranch. After 30 days in treatment I returned home. In just a matter of days I was drinking again. On May 24, 2006 I was back in detox. Then I was off to The Ranch again. This time I was there to save my life! I had made the decision that I was finished with alcohol and all the terrible things that came with it.
My time at The Ranch, 60days this time, was magical. I loved every idea that was suggested to me even if I did not understand it at the time. I quickly began to read from the book Alcoholics Anonymous. I had read parts of the book while in treatment the first time, but only because I wanted to give the appearance of doing the work necessary to get sober. This time I read about myself on every page. How did these alcoholics from 70 years ago seem to know so much about me? I could not get enough of this book. After a couple of weeks, my Partner brought me several more recovery and spiritual books to keep me busy. As soon as word got around that I had so many books, some of the guys started borrowing books from me. I look back on that time and see that this was my first 12th step work. We all had a new thirst. The thirst was for knowledge.
While I was still at The Ranch I decided that I would find a way to give back to the amazing organization that saved my life. After leaving Austin Recovery I began buying books and giving them to the men and women in detox at AR. Today I am slowly building a collection of books that will some day be a Lending Library at AR. We currently have books at the Men’s and Women’s facilities. My dream is that someday, with your help, we will have a room full of books at all AR locations.This dream can and will become a reality with your help. To quote a dear friend of mine:
"Small donation with a huge return. One never knows which book or which turn of a phrase will make that connection, so it is imperative that a wide selection of books become available."
Addiction touches so many lives. It destroys marriages, families, jobs, bodies, bank accounts, children, adults. The list could fill a library! If you or someone you love has been touched by the disease of addiction, please consider giving to this cause. If you are in recovery yourself, there is a good chance that you have experienced the healing affects that recovery literature can have on us. You probably have some books lying around that could be the “connection” that plants the seed of change for someone.
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